..... Well, it's a sort of Archery, done in secret, by people who claim they are normal everyday folks who just happen to like shooting bows and arrows. Well, if they are normal people why do they want to do it in secret, you are probably thinking they are ashamed of being seen shooting bows and arrows. Perhaps the real reason is that they really do ponce about in tights. In this case truth is really stranger than fiction, I know and I can reveal their secrets from inside the organisation.

Field Archery that is a cover name to hide the truth, in really should be called Wood Archery as their activities are mostly conducted deep in the middle of woods, away from the public. The rougher the wood land with plenty of mud and slippery slopes the better these Archers like it. If a few cliffs are available then they really start to get excited. Wind and wet doesn't deter them as they are so fixated on their activities. Normal people enjoy a good snooze in bed on a Sunday but Field Archers are up and about packing up their kit long before dawn. Would you believe that some of them will drive all night to attend a shoot in some isolated place on the other side of the country. Such is the grip that field archery has upon these unfortunate victims. This affliction affects all ages and all sexes, it is incurable, if they are afflicted at an early age it stays with them for a lifetime.

The affliction usually begins in a local Leisure Centre where they may see an advert about the local Archery Club. They think about it for a while and decide that they would like to try Archery so they go to the Club. Naturally the members of the Club welcome the new victim. OOP's ! I meant to say new member. The new member is shown all the basics of Archery and can shoot in safety until he is good enough to hit the middle of a target at ranges up to 20 yards. During this time he is subjected to all sorts of subtle influences as to which type of bow he should try. Believe me there are many different types of varying complexity.

Possibly the most technical of all bows is the ancient Longbow. To me the Longbow is a simple wooden stick with a string attached and stretched tightly between both ends to make it bend. It must have some magical qualities as so many people enjoy shooting it. Longbowmen .... Ah Sorry! it's not PC (Politically Correct) to call them Longbowmen within this liberated and equal society, many ladies shoot it too, and some ladies don't like to be called Bowmen. Bowpersons just does not roll off the tongue like that good old word that we are not supposed not to say. I call them "the Bent Stick Brigade." The Bent Stick has been about for such a long time they can claim that they invented the Archers vocabulary. This is probably true and they can also rightly claim to have invented more excuses for missing the target than any other group in archery. Judging by the amount of laughter heard coming from them they are also the happiest group. Good company and shooting is for them is what Archery is all about, they will work on the scoring later. I should point out at this stage we have been waiting several thousand years for a score, so don't hold your breath. I have listened to some great discussions between them on the varying degrees of missing. Did you know that there is a difference between a good miss and a great miss. One chap was heard to remark that it was going in the right direction when he let it go, but something spirited it away from the target. They even have private tournaments for the Longbow where everyone else is excluded so that they can keep these arcane secrets of happiness for themselves.

Another exclusive group call themselves Traditional Archers. This group is stuck somewhere between the technology of Genghis Khan and rocket science. The arrows closely resemble those used by the Longbow group, but the bows are the latest technology with essential parts missing to make it difficult to hit anything. This group was probably invented by someone who wanted to try something more modern but wasn't quite capable of giving up on a wide range of excuses for missing.

Barebow Archers, what an unusual group. They have the very latest high tech arrows that money can buy. Their bows have every conceivable advantage that science can provide. The material that the handle (riser) is made from a special alloy, then painstakingly machined to incredible precision with perfect balance and exact weight to suit the archer. The limbs (the bendy bits at either end of the riser where the string is attached to) are carbon cloth specially woven to give it perfect shooting qualities. Many years of research go into the design these limbs, then the limbs are glued together with some of the most esoteric adhesives that science and money can provide. The limbs are finally baked in temperature controlled ovens and assembled by craftsmen with years of experience. I know I watched them making limbs for the best bows in the world somewhere in Scotland. Needless to say the top end of the range carries a massive price tag but the few normal people in Archery seem to do very well with a bow costing mere two or three weeks pocket money. Once the Barebow Archer takes delivery of his new bow he starts shooting it without bothering to attach any sights to it. I must admit that they do often fit a device called a pressure button which helps to direct the arrow. Well it either directs the arrow or protects the paint on the side of the bow.

The Compound Barebow Archer is perhaps the strangest group there is these chaps and ladies shoot bows with wheels attached. I know that you don't believe me, you are thinking only an idiot would have wheels attached to a bow. To make matters worse the wheels have cables attached making a variant of the block and tackle arrangement, this magical system apparently assists in the drawing of the bow. Some of these wheel are not round as a normal wheel or pulley, they are egg shaped, and they are then called eccentric or cams. For these Archers eccentric is probably the better word cam is the last word I would use to describe them. In addition to the cables and pulleys they also have every advantage of the best materials similar to the Barebow Archers. Unfortunately these poor sad people choose not to attach sights to assist accuracy but they do fit the pressure button as both a confidence booster and something to fiddle with during times of stress. Incidentally we are now getting to the stage where there is sufficient complexity to provide a good source of excuses for missing.

Freestyle, this group use bows exactly the same as the Barebow Archers, only this time they attach every conceivable device to it so that it begins to look like a cross between a Christmas tree or a television aerial. Anything they can find is attached to the bow to assist accuracy. Longrods which resemble a Gatling gun projecting over a yard beyond the front of the bow. These devices are supposed to remove wobble are often supplemented with shock absorbing devices. Because these devices add weight to the front of the bow they usually add another two shorter Gatling like appendages at an angle, facing backwards to either side of the bow to counter the effect of the front longrod. Not being satisfied with this they add doughnut shaped pieces of rubber to the upper and lower limbs and call these limbsavers which magically removes damaging vibrations. They add a set of sights to give themselves a reminder in which direction to point the bow. These sighting devices are probably the most technically advanced bits of precision engineering to be found anywhere in the civilised world. It is possible to adjust these sights in both the horizontal and vertical planes to unbelievable precision. Accuracy better than 0.25 inch at 100 yards is easily achievable. Possibly the most vital piece of equipment is the bow sling, this is attached firmly to the bow and to the archers wrist or hand. The purpose of the sling is to prevent the archer from forgetting where he left his bow, or dropping it, but it probably has some other more scientific use. Did you know that they have another device which tells them how long their arrows are. This is called a clicker as the archer draws his bow it measures the length of the arrow and clicks when it reaches the tip and the archer is then reminded to let the arrow go. If they were in any way intelligent they would get a set of arrows which were all the same length. I know you don't believe me but it's true, I swear I'm telling you the truth. Remember that these archers shoot in woods where the undergrowth is very thick, trying to get through the woods with a bow covered with all these extra accessories is similar to walking through the woods attempting to pull an open umbrella behind them. However it must be stated that whatever they lack in intelligence is compensated for by sheer determination.

Compound Unlimited, remember everything I said together with all the bits I just mentioned about Freestyle Archery. Well! these people add even more bits to their bows. They use a device they call a trigger release in an attempt to turn the bow into a rifle. This device is attached to the wrist of the drawing arm and the other end is attached to the string. When the bow is drawn all they need do is to touch the trigger and the shot is fired. It works very well in the hands of an expert but often the archer touches the trigger before he has aimed and he loses an expensive arrow. To help them aim a magnifying scope is fitted which gives a large fuzzy image of the middle of the target. It also magnifies the wobble and removes the archers confidence to shoot, he holds in the aim trying to steady himself, pulling against the weight of the bow, then he collapses in exhaustion without firing the shot. He may repeat this performance before he releases his shot in desperation. I forgot to mention that they have a spirit level attached to the bow to reassure himself that the bow is not tilted. The bow may be held straight but the Archer tilts to compensate.
The bow illustrated here was the design used in the late 1980's but things have moved on since then. Actually this bow was used to improve the reception of my television, when not used for archery.

The most essential pieces of equipment an archer carries is either a metal detector or a bent rod of metal about 60cm long. The metal detector is for locating metal arrows in long grass. The more basic the form of archery the more chance that you will have a miss. The advantage of missing and using a detector is that you don't know what you will find, ancient coins, someone else's arrow lost years earlier, but most often, miles of copper wire. You are probably thinking that a metal detector for wooden arrows is about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle, true, but that is where the bent metal rod comes into it's own. This bent rod is called a scraper and that's how it's used to locate lost arrows.